Intentional Separation & Divorce

For couples seeking to end a relationship with greater care and intentionality

Sometimes the decision to end a relationship has already been made, but there is still important relational work to do.

Separation and divorce can bring grief, anger, relief, uncertainty, and significant emotional and practical changes. Intentional separation counseling offers a supported space to navigate this transition with greater clarity, compassion, and care.

This work may be a good fit if:

  • You have decided, or are largely decided, that the relationship is ending

  • You want help communicating about the separation more thoughtfully

  • You hope to better understand what happened in the relationship and what it has meant to you

  • You want to reduce unnecessary conflict or harm during the transition

  • You will remain connected through shared family, community, or other responsibilities

Unlike traditional couples therapy, the goal is not to repair the relationship or help you stay together.

Instead, we focus on how you want to move through the ending and into the next chapter.

Together we may work on:

  • Processing grief, anger, hurt, guilt, relief, love, or other conflicting emotions

  • Communicating with greater clarity and care

  • Understanding recurring relationship patterns and what each of you has learned from them

  • Co-creating a fuller story of the relationship, one that can hold both what was painful and what was meaningful

  • Repairing or acknowledging important hurts where possible

  • Navigating changing roles, expectations, and boundaries

  • Creating a more intentional transition into what comes next

A relationship ending does not mean that it failed, that it was a mistake, or that what you shared was not deeply meaningful. Part of this work can involve making space for a more complete story: what brought you together, what mattered, what you learned, how you changed, what you may be grateful for, and what has become clear about why the relationship can no longer continue in the same form.

The goal is not to make separation painless or expect you to agree about everything. Rather, we create space for honesty, accountability, meaning-making, and care so that the ending itself can reflect more of who you want to be.

If one of you is still seriously considering whether to leave while the other wants to repair the relationship, discernment counseling may be a better place to start.

If both of you want to work on strengthening the relationship, couples therapy will likely be more appropriate.

Practical Details

  • Format: Session length and frequency is tailored to your circumstances and goals.

  • Location: Available via telehealth throughout Massachusetts, Nevada, and Vermont, with limited in-person sessions available by advance arrangement in Harvard Square, Cambridge.

  • Read more about fees and other logistics here.

If this resonates, or if you are unsure what kind of relationship support is the right place to start, I invite you to reach out for a free 30 minute Zoom consultation.

We can talk about where each of you currently stands, what you are hoping for from counseling, and whether intentional separation counseling, discernment counseling, couples therapy, or another form of support may be the best fit.